The Heart of the Dragon
by kalinnnnn
Summary: Unrelated to each other short stories.
1. Of friendship and love

This is just a random fanfic, but it's not a oneshot. I will add new chapters whenever I feel up to it, but they will follow no particular plot, just some ideas that randomly pop up in my head. Enjoy!

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Peace. What did that word mean to him?

Eragon was peaceful whenever he was with his friends, with his dragon Saphira, and above all—when he was enjoying the company of Arya. Peace meant to him his safety and the safety of his friends, their calm and comforting presence. They never let him down when he needed help, when he asked for it. All his fears and worries seemed pointless and small, when he had someone with whom to share his problems. They offered him a helping hand, and when he took it, all his problems seemed to solve themselves. It was all he needed.

Peace meant the feeling of safety and righteousness.

And how did he understand the word love?

The word love had many meanings and many layers to him. There was brethren love, how he felt about Roran, there was friendship again, and there was Arya. The name of the elven princess was a description enough of the third kind of love for him. Whenever he said or heard her name, he felt his stomach do several back flips at the uncomfortable, and yet so attractive thought of her. He quickly associated it with his definition for peace, because he was peaceful and calm when he was with her, just standing in her presence and listening to her angelic voice, or breathing deeply her smell of juniper. Even when she rejected him, he still couldn't hide or suppress the way he felt about her, and despite feeling a little guilty about that, he liked it. He wondered how he had survived a day without her, in the time he still hadn't known about her.

He missed his old life however, even when he hadn't had Saphira or Arya for his friends. The old, _peaceful _days when he was doing the monotonous housework, weeding the crops, or just sparring all day with Roran and swimming in the Anora river. But after Saphira hatched for him, he knew, although he wanted to deny that feeling at the time, that his life would never be the same again. He had to find new kinds of peace, of love and friendship, as his old bonds had to be severed.

_No one from Carvahall would recognize me now. I've changed a lot. _

Yes, he had changed a lot during those two years he had spent away from his old home, and if Angela's prediction turned out to be true, he would never even return to Alagaesia once the war with Galbatorix was over. He only hoped he would travel with his friends to wherever he was going next, for now he believed those were the bonds he needed.

He hoped that, one day, he would be worthy for Arya's love.

Suddenly a shadow fell on him and when he looked up, he saw Saphira landing next to him. She flung her enormous wings beside her body and looked him in the eye.

_What are you doing, little one? _

_Just thinking, _he answered her.

_About what?_

_About things. _

_You can't fool me. I saw thoughts about Arya flicker through your mind. _

_Yes, I was thinking about her too. _

Saphira laughed. _Okay. Jump on my back, _she pointed with her snout at the saddle.

_Where to? _

_Oh, just to fly around. And perhaps find Arya. _She winked at him. He laughed.

New dawn shone in Ellesmera.


	2. Of sacrifise and selflessness

Eragon sat down on a rock, using a nearby tree to support his back. He crossed his legs, then fell in deep thought about the day he had just had. Oromis had told him to do that every day, so that he could fully appreciate and understand the things that had happened to him. And he followed his advice.

That day he had learned something more about love. It was a feeling, that in order to be fully and completely appreciated, he had to make sacrifices. He ran again and again in his mind the conversation he had had with Arya and the final, irreversible understanding that she didn't love him back and saw him only as a friend and nothing more. She had mentioned Faolin, and then he had understood that her heart still belonged to him even though he was dead. He tried, fought against the desire of his ego to hate her and dismiss her even as a friend, and then something had come to him.

Love needed sacrifice. It had to be selfless from both sides, and sometimes this sacrifice included to let the other person go where his heart was calling him. Eragon had to accept the situation as it was, and understand that his role in her life would be nothing more than a friend. And to make her happy, he had to be a good friend. He didn't need to be her partner to still love her, and he decided it was wrong to forget his feelings about her, to try and suppress them, mutilate them into something not so strong in order for his ego not to suffer any more. She still returned his feelings as a friend, and he needed nothing more to be happy.

He stood up, full of new and unexpected strength that suddenly filled him. The realization had struck him suddenly, and he smiled at the deductions he had made. Somehow, Eragon was sure it was the only right way to do in this situation, and nothing good would come if even now he tried to win her love. But he still didn't accept their relationship as over, as he still hoped that one day, their love would have a chance. Right now, in this place and time, it was still inappropriate and would only make them both suffer as none of them was still ready. One day, perhaps, it would be different.

The meditation done, Eragon decided he needed a bath. He walked towards the stream that flowed in the far end of the forest clearing, and stripped off his clothes, submerging completely under the icy-cold water. It was refreshing, to let the running water clean away all the dirt and weariness of the tiresome day he had had. Dueling with Vanir and completing the last poses of Rimgar, which weren't easy at all and required a lot of strength and flexibility, had been really hard even with his new might of an elven warrior, given to him by the dragons' magic. So he just let himself float on the water freely.

Suddenly someone called out his name. His stomach did several back flips when he realized it was the woman he had been thinking about until now.

"Eragon?" Arya's voice sounded again. He quickly got out of the water and muttered several words to dry his body before putting the clothes hastily back on. Just then she emerged from the forest and her gaze fell on him.

"Hello. What are you doing?" she asked, seeing him only half-dressed and his hair wet and dripping.

"Just..." he motioned at the stream with his free hand. "...taking a bath."

"I see. Sorry to have disturbed you."

She was carefully avoiding his gaze by staring at her boots. He noticed that she was very tense and stiff, and her usual gracefulness was gone.

"No problem. I was just getting out."

"Oh." she nodded. "Then it won't be a problem if I requested your company?" Her tone was flat and formal, and as always he couldn't tell if she was hiding her nervousness by that or not. "I have a few things to say... about our conversation yesterday."

"No, not at all." He quickly finished his dressing up and stood in front of her. "Where shall we go?"

"Lets go this way."

He smiled at her, a little awkwardly. She smiled back.

One day. Certainly not today, but one day.

With that hope gleaming in his heart, he followed her into the shadow of the forest. They started talking.


	3. Of humiliation

Walking was a great pleasure for Eragon, and this time he decided to think over the day's events while having a long walk in the forests around Ellesmera. The freshness of the chilly air was lifting his spirit, and he felt a lot of his previous anger and embarrassment disappear among the twilight of the evening. The sun had almost hidden itself behind the horizon and the shadows of the trees were longer than during the day, casting its darkness upon him.

However, not even his present surroundings could cheer him up enough so that he would forget his humiliation with Vanir, while they were duelling this morning. He didn't want to think about this now, but his insides burned with fire whenever he remembered of it. The duel had been a complete disaster, when he had lost his nerves and used magic, that Vanir had easily repelled. All his previous reserved manners and restraint not to answer the apparent insults of the elf were broken this morning and he had finally given him what he deserved. The problem was, that he had gotten what he deserved also, and that thought didn't leave him alone all day. It couldn't.

_Little one, are you thinking about Vanir again? _Saphira asked in his mind.

_Yes. I can't stop! He's been in my head all day, _he answered her.

_Let it go. It was a lesson you learned, and you had to learn, so accept it as one. If you let your pride stand in your way, you will have no profit of what you've experienced today._

_I know. But I still can't! _he protested.

_Well, think of it this way. Vanir humiliated you, but this is what you deserved. So you shouldn't feel guilty, but stop complaining and see what that event truly meant. Besides, it helped you discover the most powerful secret in the art of magic—that it isn't controlled by the words, but by intentions, and this could prove really useful in the war against the most powerful dragon rider ever born. _

_Well, since you put it this way... I guess it makes some sense. _He grunted.

_I'm glad, _Saphira retorted. _Then I will expect you to treat him more respectfully during your next meeting. _

_Now you're acting just like Oromis. _He frowned.

_Maybe some of his wisdom has passed into me, whereas your thick skull still refuses to let anything into it. _

At that moment a dark shadow covered the ground. Saphira landed next to him, almost blowing him off his spot and thus refusing him the opportunity to answer.

_That wasn't especially nice, _he said as he stood up once again.

_Take it as it was, _she answered him, turning her enormous head towards him and piercing him with her blue, deep eyes. After a while she smiled.

_You are growing up, little one. From the naïve child you once were, you've turned into something much more. _

He smiled too.

_So, how should you treat Vanir from now on? _

He sighed. _With more respect and I should never loose my nerves in front of him, no matter how much he insults me. _

_That is right. _She nodded. _Now, want to fly around?_

_I prefer walking. _

_Come on, I have something to show you, _she insisted.

_What is it? _he asked suspiciously.

_You'll see. _

_Saphira, tell me!_

_You'll see. Now, get up here! _

_You won't tell me otherwise, will you? _

_You'll see, _she repeated again.

He sighed and climbed up her saddle.

They set off.


	4. About Going On

Every single review, and not only for this story, is precious to me. I'm really glad I have one review, and I will be twice as glad if I get two! I'll be happy if this fanfiction (no matter how small it is) has made you think a little about some things. I'd love to hear your opinions on those matters as well.

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About Going On

He lay on the ground, thinking. Was there even any point in going on, when he had lost his hope for the future, when he had made so many mistakes? The rejection of Arya had been really painful for him, and at the memory of this he clenched his fists as hard as he could, letting blood run down his palm and colour the edges of his sleeves in red. His eyes started burning again with tears, but he held them this time, trying to get a hold of himself once more.

There was no point in going on. Why didn't someone silence him, why didn't anyone warn him that this was going to happen? Why didn't anyone try to stop him? There was no answer to those questions, and he knew he and only he was responsible for what he had done. And he couldn't fix it now.

And what did free will matter to him, when at the last moment, his will had betrayed him? He knew perfectly well what was going to happen if he tried to say what he had said, but he couldn't restrain himself any more. He just gave in to the romantic atmosphere and the magic of the elves, he didn't make his choice to finally reveal his feelings towards her willingly. But nevertheless, the consequences were the same, no matter the reason, and his mistake didn't become less significant or not as big.

He lay on the ground, shattered, looking into the sky, but that activity didn't bring any pleasure or comfort to him. He felt as if he had contaminated something pure, something that gave him hope until now, and now he was suffering because of what he had done. It was irreversible, there was no escaping of that feeling.

Saphira emerged from the forest. He only heard her, as she approached him, because he neither showed he had seen her arrival, nor greeted her in any way. He only wanted to be left alone.

_Little one, what is it? _She asked him. He still paid no attention to her.

_Please, tell me. I hate seeing you suffer alone. _

He sighed. _No one can help me now,_ he answered her this time.

_That's not true. I'll always be here for you. _

_This time, even you can't. _He turned his head away, not wanting to meet her large, sapphire eyes. _No one can. I made a great mistake, and now I must suffer the consequences... alone. _

_That will only make your suffering more unbearable. Why do you think I hatched for you?I wanted to protect you from any danger. _

He didn't answer her.

_I'm sorry about Arya—_she started again.

_You're not making it any better!_ He suddenly shouted in her mind.

_I am trying to. But you knew what was going to happen... _

_YES!_He roared in pain. _I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN, AND YET I DID IT! AND LOOK AT ME NOW! _That sudden anger was equally surprising both for him and for her. Panting heavily, as if he had just shouted the words out loud, he now stared at her fiercely.

_I am looking at you, and I can't believe this is the man I chose to be my rider. Eragon would've had strength to go on. _Her gaze was cold now, and there was no trace of her previous compassion. She was angry too.

_Go away, _he muttered.

_No, I will not. You need me now. _

_I know what I need right now, and I need to be left alone! _He shouted again.

She shook her head. _You didn't know what were you doing. _

_I—What? _

_Back then. When you confessed to Arya. _

_I don't want to talk about Arya right now. _He turned his gaze away from her once more.

_That's necessary. I know how you feel. You think it is useless to go on. _

_Going on, _he grunted. _That will only result in more mistakes and even deeper despair. _

_That is what you see now, because you are in despair. Help me get you out of your misery! I've always done so before. _

_Before... Before I made that mistake. _

_Yes, but you've done even bigger mistakes that could threaten the lives of many people. Yet you always found a little hope, that showed to you the right way out of this._ Saphira stepped closer, leaning her head over him.

_Hope is for fools,_Eragon said.

_Hope is one of the few truthful things in our life. Despair is a lie, despair doesn't exist in the world. It's just human imagination that created it. _

_How do you know? You have no idea how I feel! _

_Yes, you are right,_Saphira sighed. _I've never experienced despair in my life. But I'll tell you this—does an animal, that has nowhere to run, ever give up fighting and just offer itself to the beast? Would all animals just kill themselves, only because they know they will die one day? No, because they have faith—strong faith that their existence means something, that no one, no matter how small is he, is pointless. And no one is. There is a lesson behind everything you encounter as an obstacle, because no obstacle is meant to despair you. It is only meant to show you what are you doing wrong, and it'll teach you that, if only you have a little faith in yourself. _

_Saphira, I still don't see what's the point in that. _

_Your mistake... You may call it that way, but I don't think it was a mistake... Means that you just have to be not as direct and to control yourself a little more next time. _

He turned to his left, now fully facing Saphira. _Will there be a next time after this? _

Saphira met his eyes. She smiled. _There's always a next time, and there's always a second chance. That's the point in going on, because a chance will always be given to you, to repair what you have done wrong, and you just have to be clever enough to see it. _

_How do you do that? _he asked.

_What?_

_Recognising your second chance? _

_Have faith, little one. Have faith that it all has a meaning. _She chuckled. He smiled wearily as well. _Now, lets go. _

_Where to? _he asked, a little curious.

_Just for a flight, to lighten you up a bit._

_Okay._He stood up.

Have faith. That was all he needed to know.

For now.


	5. God

_Saphira, I was wondering... _

_Yes? _

_It's kinda silly. _

_Don't worry. _

_Okay, so... if the Gods of the dwarves and ours too, were so strong as legends and myths tell us, then why don't They just descend to Alagaesia and wipe the world of all the misery and pain? For instance, if They helped us with the war against Galbatorix, then it would end much faster and we wouldn't have to kill no more. No matter how strong is he, he wouldn't stand a chance against a God. _

Saphira fell silent for a while. She let puffs of smoke out of her nostrils. Apparently, she was in deep thought.

_I understand if you can't answer that question. After all, you're not religious. _

_Eragon, how do you understand the word misery? _

_I...it's something bad. And we have to get rid of it._

_Why? _Saphira asked.

_Why what? _he said, puzzled.

_Why is it something bad? _

_Because... people suffer. And they shouldn't. _

_Why shouldn't they? If they deserve to, will you not say it is good? _

It was his turn to fall silent.

_But the people under Galbatorix's rule do not deserve to suffer, _he said.

_How do you know? _

_Err... But then why are we helping them? _

_Maybe the time has come to end their suffering. _

_That's not an answer at all. _

_Why? _

_Because I still don't understand why do they suffer and why don't the Gods help us. _

_Eragon, if we suffer, that is only as a result of our own mistakes, and not for some evil god's entertainment. If we have made mistakes, then we have to face the consequences. That's what I mean when I say we deserve it. _

_But why don't the Gods just show us they way then, so we don't suffer anymore? _

_What if they try to, but you're too deaf to hear them because of your complaining? _

Eragon stopped. He turned to one side, then to the other, as if trying to identify a noise.

_I still don't hear anything, even when I don't complain. _

Saphira laughed.

_Oh yes you can, little one. You just don't pay Them any attention. _

_And how should I?_

She pointed at his chest with her claw.

_Your heart will tell you. It is your connection with your so called Gods. _

_So called? _He raised an eyebrow.

_So called, _she nodded._ It's just a matter of perspective. I, for example, don't believe in any God or Gods. I believe there is A Great Reason and Pushing Force behind everything, but you're wrong to give it a name or names, because It is all so much more than silly names. It is Nature. _

_So you're saying Gods don't exist? _

_Oh, they do, little one. There may be, in fact, I think there are higher beings than us, that inhabit... I believe you called it Heaven? The place, better than Earth? But it is just as it is, and there is no need of any religion so you can be prosperous and happy. _

Eragon was thinking about what she said. It had some kind of logic.

_Look around you, little one. Look at that stream, look at the rocks; see the trees and grass and animals. This is the face of God. _

He watched, smiling, full of happiness.

_You're right. It's gorgeous. _


	6. The Heart of the Dragon

I know I haven't updated this for a long, long time. I remembered about this quite recently, but anyway, here's a new chapter.

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Saphira was soaring into the sky. That was the only thing she enjoyed doing very much, as the lessons with Glaedr had become quite a burden and instead of liking them she found herself not wanting to go and meet him again. Not after what she had done.

The reason wasn't in the teacher though… It was in someone else who was attending those classes.

If she flew far and fast enough, she'd be able to escape the sting of guilt and the embarrassment her deeds had caused her. That was the only thing she knew for certain. In the back of her mind though, there was a small thought that she was running away from the problem instead of facing it, and she didn't like that at all.

But that was the last thing she wanted to do right now—face him and with that admit the mistakes she had done. Even after Eragon had comforted her, for which she was very thankful, there was still some kind of an emotional barrier that prevented her from doing what she knew she had to.

Meet him again. And confront her feelings.

There was something strange in the wind today. It was increasing its speed, as if it wanted to bring her down and she sensed her wings getting tired very quickly. With the corner of her eye, she caught a glimpse of gold, but she couldn't be certain about that.

"Saphira!" she heard Eragon's voice.

Turning her head around, she saw him gaining up on her. The wind had grown even stronger, but she still persevered, trying to speed up and escape from everything that reminded her of her failure. Even her own rider.

Wait. There was something strange here.

She turned around again. Yes, Eragon was following her. But he was _flying_.

And he had wings.

Sure, they weren't exactly there—they didn't seem material enough, only made of white light. But the wind didn't seem to trouble him.

"Saphira, wait up!"

"What is it?" she grunted, and it took her a second to overcome her irritation mixed with surprise, to realize that she had actually spoken the words.

What was going on here?

"Look out!" Eragon called. She looked forward just in time to see a high and steep mountain peek coming closer and closer with every second. She was going to crash into it.

Saphira tried to change directions and turn around, but she didn't seem to be able to control her body any more. Helpless, she just watched the vertical cliffs coming closer, and closer…

--

Saphira awoke with a start, lifting her head curtly and looking around. Her breathing was shallow and fast, and her heart was bumping madly against her chest.

She sighed, seeing it had been only a dream. Around her were only the forest of Du Weldenwarden, and the immensely high trees that indicated she was near the capital, Ellesmera. The sun was shining brightly and few beams of light passed through the thick forest roof, like spears of light in the infinite green sea under the trees.

It was a calm summer afternoon.

The dragon raised her head and sniffed the air. Despite the fact that there was hardly any climate change during the different seasons, there was definitely a hint of summer heat in the slight wind, as if a small part of the outside world had managed to sneak into the strictly guarded realm of the elves.

_Having an afternoon nap, are we? _

That was Eragon. She smiled.

_Oh, hello _Saphira greeted.

_More like good morning. _She sensed that he laughed shortly after that.

_Coming from the guy who got drunk yesterday and didn't wake up until noon. _

_Yeah, but now's, like__**, after**__noon._ He responded lightly, though she knew he had felt nervous at her statement. His acts yesterday had been really out of character for him.

She sighed once more, though this time it wasn't out of relief.

_I guess broken hearts do miracles for both of us, _Saphira noted sarcastically.

Eragon answered after a long pause.

_Yeah…_

That reminded her once more of her dream. She still wanted to escape those thoughts, to fly away from them and leave them behind, be free with the wind. At least that was what she had felt at the beginning…

Eragon was the one to break the silence.

_Still thinking about him? _

_Yes, _she admitted. _I can't stop. _

_Yeah, I know that feeling… _

_I shouldn't have done that! _she suddenly burst out. _It was all my fault! _

_What, for confessing?_ _Greeny could—_

She growled, both in her mind and out loud. Despite the fact that he had hurt her, she still didn't like how Eragon treated him as well.

_Sorry, Ardi__s…, _he corrected himself. _He could've acted more… tactfully! _

_It wasn't that! _Saphira still seemed to want to transfer all the guilt to herself, although she knew she hadn't done anything wrong. She just had the need to blame and punish herself for what had occurred. _I was too straightforward. I should've dropped him some hints…I could've confessed more indirectly…Not say it like that! He was so dumbfound he couldn't have responded in any other manner. _

_If someone did that to me, at least I would've made sure not to hurt him, no matter how surprised I would be. _On the contrary, Eragon seemed to want to blame it all on him. For some reason, that irritated Saphira even more, even when she knew she had to be grateful for his attempt to comfort her.

Putting her temper under control, she said; _Let us not talk about it any more._

_No, you need to talk about this. I know how it is, and believe me, talking will make things easier._

_I should know better what's good for me, _she retorted.

_Not in this condition you don't. _

_What do you know about this? Nothing! _

That sudden outburst surprised her as much as it had surprised him.

For a while, nobody broke the silence. Still angry, Saphira started picking at her nails, chewing them with her teeth. But that didn't help.

_I'm sorry, _Eragon said after several minutes.

She stopped, raised her head and grunted.

_I'm sorry too. But that doesn't help to change anything._

Several seconds passed until he asked: _Where are you?_

She sent him images of what she was seeing in front of her.

_Okay. I'm coming. _

_Why? _

_Because I'm still your friend, and I want to help you. _

She didn't say anything again.

_We can fly together for some time. _

…_Okay, _she agreed. She didn't know why, but flying was always a good idea, no matter how blue she was feeling.

… And maybe she really needed to talk to someone.


End file.
